Buy-in
In February, I shared the results and impetus of my experiment to not check email, work or personal, on my phone for one month. (See here.)
In short, it was a micro-challenge designed to address the increasing cognitive chaos I felt weakening the quality and productivity of my life.
The drivers are many and not unique, you’ll likely agree. I put them in three buckets.
Proliferation of digital platforms to check and respond to. Email, text, office communication tools such as Slack and Teams, chat streams, social media channels — these are just a few of the basics. I count 9 platforms I regularly monitor to simply do my job and stay in touch with family and friends — and that doesn’t include ANY social media platforms.
Volume of content flowing into our screens. Digital technology and a non-centralized media ecosystem has lowered the barrier to entry for content creation and distribution to almost zero. AI pretty much gets us to zero. Some of it is very good — such as what’s here on Substack — though of course a lot isn’t. Filtering out what’s not good is the easy part, I find. The hard part is deciding what to read among the deluge of high-quality newsletters, podcasts and articles dropping daily.
A sense that we are living in ‘unprecedented times’ from a news standpoint. I’m not sure I believe this is actually true. Ask the mother of a soldier sent to fight in World War II and she’d have a good case that her era was also “unprecedented” in terms of uncertainty, chaos and a feeling of danger lurking around each corner. But the speed of change to how we work and live certainly is accelerating. And keeping pace requires new cognitive energy.
So, what to do?
It’s not about a full detox. It’s not about breaking up with technology. It’s about realistically changing the rules of engagement.
It’s about constraints.
Post
When I recently voiced my angst to fellow Substack author Paul von Zielbauer, my colleague in the general pursuit of aging with more strength, he suggested we discuss this common malaise on Substack.
In the video above, we share tactics — what’s worked, what hasn’t — in putting some constraints around the chaos. Paul’s story about checking his phone when taking his daughter to school will resonate.
Note: A technological hiccup put a constraint on Paul’s video when we spoke, so he’s mostly off camera. We’ll never know if he was multi-tasking or not, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt…:)
Note: I’m traveling right now, and there’s a new book getting great reviews waiting for me at home that I’m looking forward to reading. It’s called “Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better” by David Epstein.1 If you want to dive deeper into the science behind the power of constraints, this book probably is worth checking out.
In the spirit of reducing cognitive load, here are the 10 constraints I’ve found most useful. (Plus, a Mother’s Day bonus in the Cash-out section.)
1. Selectively turn off notifications — I’ve shut down all my mobile notifications except for text messages. No email alerts. No news alerts. No social media alerts. No new podcast drop alerts. No …. you get the picture. The primary reason I keep texts turned on is because my parents live more than 600 miles away, and I see them twice a year. This is how we stay in touch.
The lack of constant disruption has increased my ability to focus on one task and get it done. Also, I’ve disabled any sound for texts. The dinging and buzzing make me want to hurl my phone against a wall. Disabling sound is far less costly.
2. Don’t check email on the phone* — My one-month experiment quietly morphed into a solid habit. I’ve found plowing through email in blocks of time on my laptop, versus in a steady drip all day, is a far more effective way to manage the deluge. I use smaller slices of time to execute other tasks. If anyone at work or my personal life needs me urgently, they text or call.
A report from Microsoft dubbed email “unprioritized chaos,” with the average worker getting 117 emails a day and mass emails with 20+ recipients climbing.2 To better understand why our brains quickly become so addicted to swiping and clicking on email, read “The Scarcity Brain” by Michael Easter.3
3. Phone is face-down, in a bag or another room during dinner — This is now non-negotiable in our household. We move so fast during the day, with so much screen time, that sitting at the table talking and eating without distraction is like a daily cleanse of the brain. No excuses for 20 to 30 minutes. Looking each other in the eye. Listening. Imagine that…
4. Reimagine the “to read” pile as a “river” versus a “bucket” — I picked this up from the author and productivity realist Oliver Burkeman.4 In his book “Meditations for Mortals,” Burkeman suggests we stop trying to empty the bucket by consuming all the content — however good it might be — flowing across our phone, computer and coffee table every day because that’s futile and anxiety-inducing.
Instead, he suggests, think of content as a river passing by where you selectively get to pluck a few things out, consume them, and be OK letting the rest drift by.
Stockpiling everything in a folder just makes it worse. I now generally give myself a week to read something that I really think is worthwhile. After that, I hit delete and let the river flow.
5. Try not to care so deeply about everything happening in the world — This one is tough but imperative. We need to know what is happening in the world. But emotionally absorbing all of the often horrifying headlines — war, economic turmoil, political unrest, hantavirus on a cruise ship — and feeling like we need to act on them, is fuel for cognitive chaos.
I’m not suggesting not to care at all. It’s more about picking my battles and knowing where effort and action will truly make a difference. Burkeman writes more about this in Meditations for Mortals as well.
6. Finish a few important things by 10 am — There are days my to-do list is so long, it feels paralyzing. While AI has been transformative in my corporate job and author work — for instance making research and interview prep far richer and faster — there also is a brewing sense we should be getting more done in a day.
We’re in early days of how AI will impact our lives. For now, I’m breaking the list paralysis by ensuring I check off a few key things by 10 am, which is the time I generally hit the office after a two-hour commute. They include: my morning workout, reading 1-2 newsletters or articles from my “content river,” and plowing through my overnight emails.
After that, I start selecting from the rest of the list. But with less angst because a few items are already crossed off.
7. Read something on paper before bed — This has been transformative for my sleep. I now read a book, not on a screen, for roughly 10 minutes each night. It’s a easy way to disconnect my brain literally and metaphorically from the day — and there’s no chance I’ll get distracted. When Paul launched his fantastic new magazine, Geezer, last year he intentionally only printed it on paper.
8. Pinpointing my “crop” and feeding each a bit every day — I keep a daily spreadsheet with the days of the week at the top X horizontal axis and my four key “crops” written down the Y vertical axis. I define my crops as: family, health, work (corporate and author) — and obstacle course race training. Each day I allow myself up to roughly three critical “to dos” in each bucket to feed that crop. Any more, and I risk cognitive chaos and things don’t get done.
This way, I’m clear-eyed about my priorities and realistic about how much I can tend to each in a 24-hour cycle. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s vastly clarified how I spend time each day.
9. Actively cull commitments — I say no a lot now. To outside work events, miscellaneous social invitations and random asks of my time. Does it cost me? A bit, yes. Friends I do care about wonder why they don’t make the cut. I might miss out meeting someone who could help me sell more books or gain more Substack followers.
It’s a cost I’m willing to incur. Without some buffer in the day to just “be” and think and slow down to process and respond with care the conversations I am having, everything I do will be mediocre. And I’ve decided to do less, better rather than more with mediocrity.
10. Acceptance of the chaos — This isn’t about giving up. It’s about realizing that to participate in the complex world we now live in, with its technological gifts and pitfalls, that there will never be a moment where everything is fully under control, completed and checked-off.
This acceptance might be the hardest constraint; at least it is for me. But working to be OK with the remaining chaos I cannot control might be the most important step of all to reducing its impact on my happiness.
Meditation has helped, and I’m not a person naturally-inclined toward sitting still. My tool of choice here is the Waking Up app with Sam Harris.
Cash-out
It’s Mother’s Day, so not a bad time to start strategically tuning out. As a bonus, here is a post from last year with a workout my Mom — or any of us — can do anywhere:
“The Road to 90” — a no excuses workout for my mom on Mother’s Day. (Link.)
If you’ve got techniques that help reduce your cognitive chaos, please share them in the comments below.
And let Paul and me know if you’ve got other topics you’d like us to tackle together when it comes to maintaining physical and cognitive strength as we age.
As always, find something you love. Dig in. Stick with it when things get hard.
Wendy
About me:
I’m Gwendolyn Bounds — an author, speaker and journalist. Currently, I work at The Wall Street Journal Leadership Institute as the Senior Vice President & Head of Content. My latest book is “Not Too Late: Break the Cycle of Sameness and Reimagine Your Limits.”
Sources & deeper exploration:
David Epstein, Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better (New York: Penguin Press, 2026).
“Breaking Down the Infinite Workday.” 2025 Work Trend Index Annual Report, Microsoft, June 17, 2025.
Michael Easter, Scarcity Brain: Fix Your Craving Mindset and Rewire Your Habits to Thrive with Enough (New York: Rodale Books, 2023).
Oliver Burkeman, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2024).
